For Guys Who Want The Girl

Today, a public service announcement:

My flight back from the Caribbean last week happened to have a TON of teens on board. This included one very cute guy--I'd guess he was about fifteen or sixteen--who sat directly behind me. Every single teen girl on the flight took note of this guy. They were whispering about him before boarding, but didn't approach. A few of them walked by him veeeerrry slowly on the way to the lav or to talk to a friend. By the time we all hit baggage claim, several angled to stand beside him to wait for suitcases.

Even though he was smiling and being friendly, one by one, they moved away.

I elbowed my husband and said, "Told you!" as the last girl wandered off to stand near her friends. (Being the smart man he is, he replied with an, "Uh huh." He learned long ago to ignore me when, in a crowd, I say, "Watch what happens with that person. I bet that...")

I knew exactly what'd happen because Mr. Cute was sitting all of four feet behind me on the plane for three hours.

My tip to ANY guy reading this between the ages of 12 and 20: If you want a shot with the girl of your dreams, you MUST take a shower. DAILY. Then be sure to wear clothes that are relatively clean. It won't guarantee you that you'll get a girl, but it will keep them from running away and give you a huge advantage over the non-showered.

I know you're sure that you don't stink after a day of hanging out and doing nothing more strenuous than homework or a few rounds with the Wii. Ditto when you are behind on laundry and throw on clothes that have been fermenting at the bottom of your laundry basket for few days and pass your personal sniff test. But trust me, you reek to others. Even if you're the most gorgeous guy on the plane, even if YOU cannot smell it, the girls will walk away when they smell you.

Take this year's Oscars as a Guide To What Girls Want:

Exhibit A:
This is good. You know he showered.




Exhibit B:
This is NOT good. I suspect the woman next to him is thinking, "I should've known not to stand so close. This guy's hair hasn't seen shampoo in at least a week."



Now, I'm not saying you have to dress or wear your hair like Clooney. You can keep that rebel edge and still look great. Case in point, Exhibit C:



This is the way to do fun, laid-back, and edgy without skipping the shower. Girls go nuts for this.

A final tip: Do not, I repeat, do NOT, wear a ton of cologne. (More than a dab = a ton.) It can be just as suffocating to girls as a Survivor-inspired shower strike.

So go forth, SHOWERED, and hopefully the girls will flock to you at baggage claim this spring break. (And, of course, you may feel free to sit near me anytime.)

And a P.S.: Turns out, I tied for second in my Oscar pool. Woot-woot! Next year, I plan to win the whole shebang!

Oscar Time

Yes! She lives!

Major apologies...I've missed blogging for the last couple of weeks because I've been 1) away on vacation in the sunny Caribbean, and 2) getting ready to go on vacation. (Why does getting packed and ready feel like it takes almost as long as the actual vacation?!)

I promise to post pics of my trip very soon, but first I have to comment on last night's Oscars. You didn't think I'd plan a vacation that didn't get me home in time for the big red carpet pre-show on E!, did you?!

I doubt I won my Oscar pool this year, as I only got 13 out of 24 categories correct, compared to last year's 18 out of 24. (Really, who would have guessed that Transformers wouldn't pick up either the Sound Editing or the Sound Mixing awards? I was so so sure.....)

However, I'm thrilled that I managed to correctly pick the Best Picture, Best Director, Best Original Screenplay, and ALL FOUR of the acting awards. (Thank you, Marion Cotillard and Tilda Swinton!) So who knows...I just might pull off an upset.

Speaking of Cotillard and Swinton, I must comment on my fave aspect of Oscar night: the gowns! Whenever I see a Jean Paul Gaultier gown in a magazine, I think, "That's soooo pretty, but who could actually WEAR it?" Now I know. You need to be a) French, and b) cute. In other words, you need to be Marion Cotillard:



Cotillard wins my pick of the night, though I also really liked Anne Hathaway:



I wasn't so sure about the roses on the front at first--don't you suspect she'd catch those flowers on a door handle or some passerby's wristwatch?--but the red is elegant and the dress drapes beautifully. After seeing it a few times, I decided that the flowers add that something "different" without being bizarre.

Some of my other fave looks of the night were--surprisingly enough--worn by pregnant actresses. I'd never have thought feathers + baby bump = high glamour, but check out Jessica Alba:



Nicole Kidman's necklace is also one of those style choices you'd think would be a serious miss for someone with a growing midsection--a bazillion diamonds to draw focus away from your face and closer to your belly? Thankyoubutno. However, with her simple black gown and clean hairstyle, I think the necklace worked. And I wish my skin and hair looked even half as good as Cate Blanchett's. Talk about a glow. Wowza!



I only had two misses for the night, and they were half-misses. The way I figure it, to be a winner, a gown has to both be comfortable and look good. Tilda Swinton told the red carpet interviewers that her dress was comfortable, and she did seem happy with it. But it missed the mark on the "look good" front:



It pains me to say this, because Tilda gave me serious points in my pool with her Best Supporting Actress win, but her gown looked like a velvet lawn & leaf bag. And though you can't see it in this picture, the other sleeve was gone. Just. Gone. Despite the fact it's a Hefty-like horror, I deem it only a half-miss, because you can't fault a person for being true to themselves.

My other half-miss of the night was (sniff, sniff) Renee Zellweger. She has a stunning figure and wore a drop-dead gorgeous dress. You'd think that'd be the whole package, but apparently not:



This is a woman who is NOT comfortable.

Was it the bad weather? The new short haircut? (I think the hair is cute, but it kept blowing in her face with the wind.) Did someone goose her as she stepped out of her limo? Wish I knew, because this should've been a hit, and I usually love her dresses.

So what about you? Which award winners had you cheering? Did you enter an Oscar pool? (I'm still crossing my fingers for good news on mine!)

AND...what were your style hits and misses?

145 Free Books

Well, not all at once (that would be a mighty large box.)

BUT...if you're fans of the Simon Pulse romantic comedy series (books like Royally Jacked and Scary Beautiful), then you must check out the TeensReadToo site this month. They're giving away FIVE romantic comedy titles a day to celebrate February!

If you do the math, that means there are 145 chances to pick up a free copy of a great book. (Plus the site has tons of reviews and other info, so it's great to visit anytime.)

Good luck!