Oscar Time 2009

Happy, happy, joy, joy. Three cheers for Oscar night!! (Wasn't it WONDERFUL? Love me some Hugh Jackman. But I digress...)

First cheer: I rocked my Oscar pool. Haven't gotten an update as to the winners, but I got 19 out of the 24 categories correct (last year I was an all-time low 13 for 24, and I was 18 for 24 in 2007.)

Second cheer: Anyone mind if I do a dance for Slumdog Millionaire? I LOVED that movie. If you haven't seen it yet, consider this a shove out the door to the multiplex. You'll want to see it in a theater, unless you are so fortunate as to have one of those home theater setups with the wicked surround sound, etc. This is a movie that transports you to India. You won't want to be distracted by neighbors, the phone, or your laundry while you watch on DVD at three in the afternoon.

Third cheer: The GOWNS! This was a prime Oscar year. Very few misses, so I'll get them out of the way right off the bat.

Apologies to the ever-lovely Jessica Biel, but this was Not Good. It looks like someone took took care with her hair and makeup. Then, a nasty stylist came in afterward and thought Jessica looked too pretty. In a jealous fit, the stylist wrapped a very fancy bedsheet from the Ritz-Carlton around Jessica, tucked it up with a few folds in the front, and carefully explained (cough-lied-cough) that the sheet-waterfall look was "the latest thing." She then shoved Jessica out the door, stifling a maniacal laugh as JB tripped over the hem getting into the car:



The dress Jessica wore to host the Sci-Tech Awards last week was much better. Though awfully reflective in photos, I bet it looked better in person. And she can walk without tripping on it:



My other Worst Dressed Female for 2009 must go to Whoopi Goldberg. I swear I could see her bra (and part of its contents) peeking out the top while she was presenting, but I can't find a photo of that particular moment. Still, even assuming the girls were tucked away where they belonged, you tell me. I think she can do much better than this:



Of course, I immediately consulted both the E! Fashion Police and my fave Fuggers to see if they agreed. (They did.) But they liked one dress (for the most part) that I just couldn't love. Check out Heidi Klum in red:



To me, the color works. The cutout in the back works. The bow works. The leg slit works. The top kind of works. However, all these things do not work together. It's too much. I say keep the color (Heidi can rock red), keep the back cutouts, keep the leg, but lose the origami top and the butt bow. What do you think?

And ditto Reese Witherspoon. Either black with the funky cut, or blue with the funky cut. Not all at once:


WHEW. So on to all the good stuff (and there was plenty of good stuff!) First, oh, how I loved Angelina Jolie. True, it was black. But it showed off her figure, and didn't look like the matronly swoops of fabric we've seen on her lately.



Other faves: Freida Pinto (fabulous color), Best Actress nominee Melissa Leo (great fit, pretty, and suited her coloring), and Marisa Tomei (funky but classy.) I also LOVED Anne Hathaway's gown, though from certain angles, it seemed loose in the bust, as if someone taller than her could look right down and see everything. However, I doubt too many people are that much taller than Anne Hathaway, especially when she's wearing killer heels.

(I would put these in a neat-o collage, but I suck at HTML and give up.)





There were LOADS of great gowns, so it's hard to pick my favorites. But these two topped my list. Presenting the Best Dressed Women, Natalie Portman and Penelope Cruz:



I generally don't go for pink, but Natalie Portman's simply rocked. Penelope Cruz's look was a mesh of sultry Sophia Loren and glamorous Grace Kelly.

I'm also going to name a Best Dressed Man this year. Mostly because while I was watching the Oscars, I made my husband come to the TV so I could explain that THIS is how a guy should look for the red carpet:



Bravo, Robert Downey, Jr! Even if my husband said something along the lines of, "Um, okay," before going back to whatever he was doing on his computer, I thought it was perfect. Downey's wife, Susan, looked amazing, too. (And their happy-to-be-together smiles get them extra bonus points.)

Finally, I must mention Heath Ledger's win. He was a phenomenal, multi-dimensional Joker, and I think he'd have won the Oscar regardless of the attention his unfortunate, way-too-early passing brought to his performance. Valerie (the Oscar-loving, Heath-obsessed character from Royally Jacked and its sequels) would have been doing the biggest happy dance of all.

So what do you think? Who was a hit? Who missed? (And though I won't post it here, did you get a look at Sharon Stone's R-rated see-through dress?! Google it if not. It would have been wonderful if it wasn't transparent. But as is, I howled with laughter.)