Things I've Learned Today

1. The Red Sox are willing to sign a player to a one-day deal if he'd like to retire in a Red Sox uniform, but only if that player's name is Nomar, which begs the question: How many people on planet Earth are named Nomar?

2. One hundred calories worth of Lorna Doone cookies are tasty, but only for two seconds. And then you want more, because who is happy with only two seconds' worth of Lorna Doone?



3. Jessica and Heather of Go Fug Yourself offer the best post-Oscar style analysis of all time. Thanks for the excuse to procrastinate, girls. (BTW...I'm with you on Sigourney Weaver. No way she's sixty.)

4. It's possible to obtain a medical license in England without having the ability to differentiate between pregnancy and gout.

5. I should never, ever name a character Lindsay. If I do, Lindsay Lohan might think it's modeled after her and sue me. Apparently, Lindsay--or her lawyer, at any rate--claims that any fictional use of the name "Lindsay" is akin to using an identifiable, unique name such as Madonna or Oprah to hawk products. (The lawyer did not cite Nomar as an example.)

The Upside of Being Unproductive

I tend to use my weekends to play catch-up on work. For better or worse, this tends to happen when your office is inside your house. When you see your work staring at you, it's kinda hard to ignore it.

However, I spent yesterday being completely unproductive. No writing, no paying bills, no answering e-mails or blogging. Instead, a big chunk of time was devoted to watching a "best of" series of clips of Conan O'Brien's Triumph the Insult Comic Dog. If you want to see the clips, there are a bunch you can find online by searching "Triumph the Insult Comic Dog." Or you can check this page--with some of the best Triumph segments--in this article from MSNBC:

One Last Treat From Conan's Dirty Dog, Triumph.

Laughed my head off watching these (especially the clip with the Hawaii American Idol auditions.)

After the Triumph-fest, I went to see It's Complicated and laughed some more. HYSTERICAL flick.

I've spent most of this morning in a writing frenzy, probably because I let myself have a completely brainless day of entertainment. Proof that being unproductive is, every so often, a very good thing.

New Year's Goals (Not Resolutions)

Happy New Year! For many, this is a day of sleeping late and making New Year's resolutions. In my house, it's a day for singing Happy Birthday (to my father-in-law), taking down Christmas decorations, and New Year's goal-setting.

Yep, I differentiate between resolutions and goals.

A resolution, in my mind, is an aspiration. Something you'd like to accomplish, but that isn't within your control. For me, aspirations include being a contestant on The Amazing Race, having a movie made of one of my books, and watching a no-hitter at Fenway Park. I can make progress toward accomplishing those things, but ultimate success lies in someone else's hands.

On the other hand, accomplishing a goal is entirely within your control. As nice as it is to make a list of your aspirations, regularly setting goals is better. I sit down with one of my writing buddies at least once a year (and sometimes more frequently) to set goals. Not only is it fun to talk over our goals on a regular basis, it's paid off for us both.

Over the years, we've come to the conclusion that proper goal-setting has a few requirements:

1) Accomplishing the goal must be entirely within your control;
2) You must think through the steps necessary to reach your goal and write them down (be specific!);
3) You must set deadlines for accomplishing each step and for the ultimate goal;
4) You must re-read your goals frequently, and as things in your life/career change, update your goals accordingly; and
5) When you do accomplish your goal(s), celebrate!

For instance, though "have a movie made of one of my books" isn't within my control (as I do not control Hollywood), other aspects of my writing career are within my control. I can determine what kind of books I want to write, when I want to finish them, when I want to submit to publishers, etc. When setting my goals, I might write down something like this:

• Write two books this year (Write proposal for book #1 by February 15, finish book #1 by June 15. Submit by June 30. Write proposal for book #2 by August 15, finish book #2 by December 15, submit by December 31.)

It's within my control, it's specific, it has reasonable deadlines for both the ultimate goal (December 31) and for the steps needed to accomplish the goal.

I give a copy of my goals to Elizabeth, and she gives me a copy of hers. I keep the list on my computer desktop where I can see it as I work.

As the year progresses, we'll call or e-mail each other to say, "Hey, it's February 1. Where are you on that first proposal?" As things change--say, I get a contract that says I need to write a third proposal during the year--I'll revisit the goals, change them as needed, and give the updated goals to Elizabeth. She does the same. When one of us accomplishes a goal, we both celebrate. (By the way...this week is also a celebration week, because Elizabeth's newest book, How I Met My Countess, hits the shelves. Book releases are always cause for celebration!)

Goals don't have to be limited to finishing projects. Mine aren't! My writing goals also include improving my writing (by reading certain books or taking specific writing classes and workshops), communicating with readers (through my message board/Facebook/Twitter), and getting notes/outlines started for future projects.

If you're a writer, you can move forward by leaps and bounds if you set proper goals, and what better day to get started than January 1st?

Different Writer, Different Process

There was an interesting article (interesting to writers, anyway) in Friday's Wall Street Journal called How To Write A Great Novel. It's not a true How-To so much as a Here's-How-Others-Have-Done-It.

While I've never written in the bathroom or gotten dressed up as one of my characters, over the years I've found methods that work for me. They're not the same methods that work for others. I know one author who writes all her books while sitting in her bed with her laptop on a foam lap desk. She gets lots of work done this way, but if I tried it, I'd fall asleep. On the other hand, I frequently manage to hammer out sticky plot points while gardening, but a lot of writers I know consider weeding a hellish activity.

The thing is, you only know what works for you by trying different methods, and you can't do that without actually WRITING, which is hard work. Read the article and you'll see what I mean. The gist of the piece is:

1) No one process works for everyone; the writing process is as individual as the author
2) Writing is hard work
3) Writers--yes, even the best--must be willing to revise to be successful, sometimes throwing away big chunks of their hard work in the process

All three are good lessons for any writer.

Teen Fiction 101

I frequently get questions about writing fiction for teens--how to get started, how to find an agent, etc. I have answers to several of these questions on the Frequently Asked Questions page of my website. (And if there's a writing question I've missed, e-mail me and let me know. I update the FAQ page regularly!)

However, if you're working on a project and are looking for something more in-depth than what's on the FAQ page, I'm teaching a class starting TOMORROW via WriterUniv.com. It runs the entire month of November and will be conducted exclusively online. I post lectures twice a week, so you can go at your own pace (in other words, if this month is tough for you, you can download it now and wait to read everything in January!) There's a more detailed description of my class--and many other writing classes--on the WriterUniv.com website. Registration is there, too.

Hope to see some of you there!

Turning Off The Light

The summer I turned fifteen, I got my first official job, cleaning an Army bowling alley. I scrubbed chairs, ball return machines, and even the snack bar's floor. It wasn't easy work. The best hour of the day, however, was from 12:30-1:30pm, when the televisions mounted over each lane showed The Young & The Restless. (You're probably surprised that a soap could be bowling alley fare, but this was Germany, and there was only one TV channel in English.)

Those daytime soaps changed my life, for I was quickly sucked into the show's story. I couldn't wait to see each day's episode chronicling the love triangle between Victor, Nikki, and Kevin. All these years later, I still watch, and there's still an on-again, off-again romance between Nikki and Victor.

To me, this is the magic of daytime drama. The writers are masterful at building communities full of complex characters who viewers care about, and then incorporating endless emotional plot twists to keep the story fresh. For years.

As much as I've loved Y&R over the years, I've always had a soft spot in my heart for another CBS soap, Guiding Light, and have tuned in often enough to keep up with the action. The characters are engaging, the storylines deftly plotted. And not only is it the longest-running daytime drama in the United States, it's the longest running broadcast program of any kind, anywhere in the world, having been on air (radio and TV) since January 1937.

I've learned a lot about writing from watching soaps, and many other writers I know have, too. In fact, I've learned so much, I decided it'd be fun to set a book on the set of a soap. I could play with dual storylines of the characters as they appeared on-screen, as well as lives behind the scenes. Unfortunately, as much as I knew about the on-screen lives of characters, I knew squat about what happens behind the scenes.

Thankfully, the phenomenal Jill Lorie Hurst, head writer of Guiding Light, was kind enough to spend a day with me and author Hope Tarr on the New York set of the show. It was one of the most entertaining--and educational--days of my life.

Jill gave us an overview of what it's like to be a writer on a daytime drama, then gave up most of her day to show us around. I was amazed at the efficiencies they'd created to get the show produced for as little money as possible while still maintaining the show's quality. Writers' and producers' offices converted into sets--Jill's office was the "seedy motel", while others worked in the Springfield nail salon and Reva's living room--walls would slide back to reveal the interior of a hospital. On a separate floor, an entire maze of rooms was constructed, with one set leading to another. If Reva stormed out of a restaurant, she might end up--in reality--in Josh's living room or the Spaulding study, even though it'd appear she was headed outside.

I had my photo taken in the Spaulding study...


then I snapped one of Hope a whopping thirty feet away, at the Company restaurant:


We also had the opportunity to meet some of the producers and directors--like the multitalented Ellen Wheeler, who let us hold her beautiful Emmy--and spent a good amount of time with the actors. Frank Dicopoulos hung out with us in the hallway near the actors' dressing rooms, talking about how his character has evolved over the years. His behind-the-scenes stories had us rolling until actor Lawrence Saint-Victor, who plays Remy, came up behind Frank and attempted to refute them all (before telling us he was about to surprise his wife with tickets to see wrestling at Madison Square Garden--he wasn't sure it'd be a good surprise!)

One thing made abundantly clear both to me and to Hope was that the cast, crew, and everyone else involved in Guiding Light love their show. They've worked hard to provide viewers with an escape from the stresses of everyday life (you know, the folks stuck cleaning bowling alleys.) They were grateful for the opportunity they'd been given by the network, and by each and every viewer.

I'm sure when the news came (shortly after Hope and I visited) that the show had been cancelled--and that tomorrow, September 18, would be their last day on the air--they were every bit as heartbroken as the viewers. They didn't want to see their stories end, either.

So to everyone at GL (and especially to our tour guide, Jill): Thank you. You've taught hundreds of writers about the art of story, you've entertained millions upon millions of viewers, and you've done it well. You'll be missed. And I know tomorrow's finale will be riveting television.

Favorite Writers

I'm often asked about my favorite writers. I've always put Larry Gelbart near the top of the list, so I was sad to see that he passed away this weekend.

Even if you haven't heard of Larry, you've no doubt seen his work performed on screen or stage. M*A*S*H. A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum. Oh, God! City of Angels. Tootsie. The man possessed an immeasurable wit.

If you want to learn about writing, watch a few episodes of M*A*S*H. Study how Gelbart develops his characters, making you love them, flaws and all. Learn from his brevity. Every word moves his stories forward; nothing is extraneous. I still watch M*A*S*H with an eye to learning the craft from the best in the business.

Thank you, Larry. You'll be missed.

Nine Pounds

Most writers I know reward themselves after finishing a book, mailing out a proposal, or working through a particularly tricky part of their work-in-progress. It's a great incentive to keep going when the writing isn't easy.

Some writers buy themselves a gift (jewelry, shoes, and handbags seem to be popular amongst my friends.) Others go get a manicure or a massage. Some take a day (or a week) away from the computer to get fresh air and/or travel before diving into the next project. I think rewarding yourself for a job well done is always a good idea, whether you're a writer or not.

Since I wrapped up a new proposal last week, I went to Holliston, Massachusetts (one of the towns featured in Sticky Fingers) to go blueberry picking.

Ever wonder what nine pounds of blueberries looks like? Me, too. Mostly because I picked nine, but only seven and a half made it to the counter for this photo by the end of the day. I was eating them like one might nosh on a bowl of popcorn.

So...seven and a half pounds of blueberries:



Think this isn't a great writing reward? Three words for you: Homemade blueberry cobbler.

Stuff To Win, Places To Go, and Important Info For Writers

Wanna win a book? Or five? Who doesn't?! Check out this month's Grab Bag of Books Giveaway on TeenReads.com :


Yep, that's a copy of Breaking Up Is Hard To Do, which contains my novella, Last Stand. If you don't have your own copy yet, enter for a chance to win it (and some other wonderful reads!)

In the meantime, my calendar is filling with events. If there's one near you, please come and see me! Here's the official list (with more updates coming soon, so stay tuned!):

Tuesday, July 15, 6:30 - 8:30 p.m.
New Britain Public Library, 20 High Street, New Britain, CT.
I will be appearing at the library to discuss how a book makes it from a writer's laptop to a bookstore shelf, and to answer any and all of your questions. (Okay, maybe not ALL questions. For instance, not about my weight. Or about that time in ninth grade when I had to hide a pair of underwear in the trash--long story. But other questions...fire away!)

Wednesday, July 30, 5:30-7:30 p.m.
Romance Writers of America Annual Literacy Autographing, San Francisco Marriott, San Francisco, CA.
I'll be signing books alongside 450 other authors, with all the proceeds of the sales going to literacy charities. If you're in the San Francisco area, this is a great chance to meet and talk to me (and many other fantastic authors, such as Terri Clark, Lynda Sandoval, and Alyson Noël!)

Friday, October 17, 6:30 - 8:30 p.m.
Henry Waldinger Memorial Library, 60 Verona Place, Valley Stream, NY (Long Island).
What would you ask an author if you had the chance? I will be meeting with the library's Mother/Daughter Book Club for a fun night of Q & A about my books, with a focus on Goddess Games.

Finally, some important info for writers: for whatever reason, over the last few weeks, I've gotten a TON of requests from readers/aspiring writers who want me to read their work, give their name to my agent, find them a publisher, etc. Though I'm honored that you trust me with your work, here's the thing: for a lot of boring (but important) legal reasons, I can't read your manuscripts. If you send one to me, I have to delete it unread. Plus, even if there weren't legal reasons preventing me from reading your work, if I started saying yes to one request I'd feel like I needed to say yes to all requests, which would leave me no time at all to write my own stuff. SO...please don't send me your novel-in-progress, or ask me if I will send it to my agent or editor. However, I don't want to leave you adrift! If you are an aspiring writer, I encourage you to check out the Frequently Asked Questions page on my website. There's a lot of info there to help you. Also, consider finding a few other writers and forming a critique group. Not to tear apart each other's projects, but to be give constructive criticism in a supportive atmosphere. A lot of writers find critique groups to be useful in their careers. You might find one useful, as well.

The Secret to Productivity

Any writer with a new baby understands that their productivity takes a nosedive as the diaper pail fills. However, what (dumb, dumb) people often don't realize is that the same thing happens when you bring a puppy into your house.

I knew a puppy would be a distraction when I brought Tipper home last summer. I just didn't grasp how much. Not only will she chew shoes, she chews door frames, the stairs, cupboard knobs, and even the WINDOWS. No, not the window frames, but she actually tries to chew the flat glass. Don't ask me why.

The upshot is that I'm constantly distracted. Today, however, I found the secret to increasing my productivity:



Yep. Bribery in the form of a meaty bone. Trust me, it works. (At least for dogs. I don't recommend you try this with an infant.) The new bed and the meaty bone are presents she received for her first birthday last week. Turns out they were gifts for me! She even cast aside her favorite donut toy (on the right side of the picture), which NEVER happens.

However, once you give your pup that treat, don't try to take it away. This is the look you will get:



It says, "Don't. You. Dare."